Every time there’s another break up
My body goes into shut down mode
Starvation mode they like to call it
Hollowed cheekbones
Half dazed eyes that smiles
Normalcy forged
Cannot fake nor hide
Food becomes a scarcity that passes these lips
Perhaps I want to smoke you
The very essence I drank in of your breath
The taste of you on the tip of my tongue
Lingering
It kills the taste for everything else
And my stomach rebels if it’s not you
It doesn’t help even if he’s feeding me
I feel nothing but your hand brush against my skin
I’m sorry, I tell him
I’m sorry if I cringe
Really, love
He was only trying to help me
This hollowed out shell of a human body
Where once these curves you rested so casually
Arms draped over this waist and hips
Warmth in the night
Your arm heavy
It’s been weeks now and I can count my bones
Every bone on my body
I see them all piercing the fog that impedes me
The maelstrom has calmed but holds
That quiet foggy aftermath that the wind doesn’t stir
I don’t think if I can
And dreaming
If only I could have it banned
I swear I’ve seen you more in my dreams than in reality
You were never this close
And my heart knows
Every memory a bitter pill
You’re just another dose
So let me take one too many of it
After all I write best when broken
Overdosing is just another token
Of your love that's a medicine
I'm now allergic to
~Rachel Alexandrina N.C.L.
