My thoughts are killing me

My thoughts are killing me,
And people don't even notice,
The strangled voice that used to laugh,
Is gone,
Replaced with this paranoid fear,
And I am shaking in the dead of night,
Like some junkie who has missed a shot,
Blinded by my own lies,
From reality and my dream world,
I know not,
Makes no difference in the haze,
To me it is all the same shade of grey,
And I tremble,
Wrapping my arms around myself,
To keep from shattering myself apart,
I let go of what was once,
The tattered remains of my heart,
I grow smaller,
And smaller still,
Till I'm invisible to those who would call,
I fade out into the background noise,
Till you no longer notice me at all.

~Rei Shiori