Wednesday 26 August 2015

Self-sacrifice VS Relationship abuse

Society puts women who put up with shit from their partner as being an exemplary other half. Yet they condemn those who escape from the clutches of domestic violence and abusive relationships as being so stupid to end up in those relationships or staying in them.

Why is that?

Self-sacrifice is something often looked for in a partner, specifically women. Not that men don't get that kind of expectations from their partners either, but it's a majority-women-only kind of situation. Mothers teach their daughters "Be patient with him, remember, love is kind and gentle. Love forgives." But how much can love forgive when it comes to loving a self-centered brat? How much can love take, when the demands begin to overwhelm and suffocate, way beyond the boundaries of what is human. Eventually we go with the flow, do as he likes, not because of love or out of love, but because we're sick of the whiny shit that he pulls every time he doesn't get his way. The man-child. Feared creature that has not emerged from his mother's arms but tries to grab you like a much-abused plaything.

After watching the Viddsee video titled Gloria , I realized this one thing. It left me feeling sick and disgusted but at the same time pleased. Why? The main character's ex is asked why she left him with no warning. Her reply touched a raw nerve in me that while screaming silently, sang of a memory I relive when watching the short film. I have been that girl. I have felt like Gloria has. But I have also been Kate, his under-appreciated fiancee. Truth to be told, I'd ask Kate to dump his sorry ass before she starts to regret it too. Someone as childish as that, would continue to take decades before maturing no matter how many promises are made and broken. Some never mature at all. But I digress.

SPOILER ALERT: Gloria tells Leo that he has never looked at her and loved her for being her. He loves her because he wants her to be his dream girl. She is not and never would be his dream girl, and realizing this, she leaves him. Point is? He doesn't see her as she is. He doesn't see her at all. And up till he is engaged to Kate, he still does not see the women who love and have loved him as who they are. He still questions why he marries them simply because they don't want the things he wants. This made me feel so sick to the stomach I wanted to cry. And Kate? What's her reason for sticking by this big, childish, immature asshat? The producer only knows because I for one feel that this, is the kind of video that makes women think they ought to be that self-sacrificing martyr.

I'd say get out there and burn some bridges, girl. He's no man, he's a baby with the ego the size of the galaxy and the balls the size of his brain.

~Rei Shiori

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