Wednesday, 16 September 2015

Wake me

Just get me tired,
Then let me down,
Hanging by a thread,
Head bowed low,
Won't you say this is a fleeting dream?
What I look like,
Is never what I mean,
Tearing apart at the seams,
Leaking out,
All these muddied feelings,
Will you wade in me,
Till the floods clear,
And I can see again,
Or will you leave in fear,
Will you wake me,
This nightmares keep me awake,
Constantly drowining,
In my mistakes.

~Rei Shiori

For You

I've always been one to fight,
Never again underdog,
Never again crouched down,
Holed up in a corner,
Eyes scrunched tight,
Words lashing,
I made my way,
Slowly surely,
Scars hidden away,
Figured I'd make it,
At least blazing to the top,
Even if not,
I'd be that bright spark,
Before I go out,
Oh but these arms are weary now,
And this mind is so heavy,
My thoughts are rain clouds,
Grey, dreary,
I can't fight as I used to,
I can't swim against currents,
This heart has been abused too,
But I say your name,
And shadows turn despite,
Their cloaking darkness,
Was once suffocating night,
I say your name,
My prayer,
My charm,
I'd fight myself to keep you from harm,
My demons,
I'll slay,
This thunderstorm,
The thoughts I keep,
I'll quell their rage,
I scream and I cry,
But they only echo in my mind,
Touch me,
Your warmth brings silence,

~Rei Shiori

~Rei Shiori

Friday, 11 September 2015

Missing you

I’m supposed to be studying right now. But somehow it feels a little off without you here with me. I don’t want to sound clingy, really. Even then, I’ll say this at the risk of sounding like a very obsessed girlfriend, I’m pretty sure I’ve never missed someone to the point of feeling lost without them. I can function fine. I can actually study. Just not now. Not when I’m feeling the absence of you so acutely that it makes my rib cage feel so hollow. Which I will be feeling more of in the coming months. I know well enough when I jumped into this. With everyone telling me I’d be facing weeks on end of not being able to see you or touch you. I can hear your voice. But it really isn’t the same. Nothing’s the same without you. And that’s ok. I still know you’re there. I love you.

Tuesday, 8 September 2015


The first time you mentioned it, I hesitated. I'd never heard of a couple showing that they were a couple by the watches they wear. And to be honest I thought to myself rather amused, well, there goes the practical side of him again. Then I realized that every time I looked for the time, there you were.

For every minute I was away from you, I was aware, more than ever. It felt more intimate than a pair of rings which although symbolic and pretty, was really not something I'd wear constantly (thank you, OCD =.=). It was a practical gift but it was also one of the most thoughtful ones I've received. You knew I'd always have trouble remembering the time and keeping track of it.

Next to you, my responsible side pales in comparison and my thoughts seem more flighty. You were always the dependable one. You still are. And how I love you for that.

That practical side of you, as much as it sometimes exasperates me is something I'd never want you to change. Yes, it makes you seem occasionally rather insensitive and even thoughtless, especially since your practicality extends to your words (shorter is not always better). But I realized, that's just you looking out for the both of us (sometimes more you than me though XD ) because my head isn't always all there. I'm glad you're the one who's more logical. Because I'd only get stressed trying to be the logical one when I'm the one that's insanely spontaneous and makes you want to go crazy with my sudden plans and moods. Let me be the one to teach you how to let go. You don't always have to be so perfect.

I want to be the one place you can come home to and relax. I want to be that button that makes all those tabs go away, even if just for a while. You don't always have to be the stronger one. That's what I was meant to be for you. Be strong everywhere else out there in that big world. But be you when you're with me. I just want you to know, no matter how pissy I am, you come first. And if you're hurt or sad or just plain frustrated, come back to me. I'll try to make everything better again to the best of my ability. I'm not much, but I'm here for you. I love you.

Wednesday, 2 September 2015


I'd walk on water for you if I could,
You make me dream again,
I thought I'd turned to ashes,
A lost piece of driftwood.

~Rei Shiori