Friday, 30 November 2012

Controlled

Here we are,
Played like puppets on a string,
A broken marionette,
A doll,
Dancing to the tune someone else sings.

~Rei Shiori

What you've done to me

I've given so much of myself away,
All I am left is an empty shell today,
Blank, vacant, heartless shape,
See what you've done to me,
See what your absence has made,
A cruel wrench and my heart divides,
Unforeseen circumstances,
Poisonous secrets that you hide.

~Rei Shiori

Sweeter than chocolate

DARK CHOCOLATE
The marshmallows bobbed around the spoon's edge as Leah twirled the ornate silver handle around in the huge, steaming mug of cocoa. The shop was quiet today, particularly so, since Lucian had taken the day off to be with Mai and Sam was in the kitchen instead of serving the customers. Andre was too shy to even mumble more than a few words after taking orders and so she was stuck. On her own. After three hours of lonely Christmas shopping. At least the view was pretty outside the glass window next to her seat. The bright red berries and green moss gave a Christmassy feel to the tiny cafe. She sighed as she returned to the open copy of the fashion magazine that lay on her table and the decadent chocolate cake topped with dark chocolate shavings that awaited her. No boyfriend, her best friends were busy with their work and she being the only freelance designer with plenty of time on her hands since she had finished all her orders before the Christmas season had started. Life was treating her well in every aspect except for her social life.
The cafe bell tinkled merrily as a gust cold air ruffled Leah's straight brunette hair and made her shiver despite the thick cream shawl she had wrapped around her neck. Someone new had come in. Leah peeked through the gold gauze curtains and looked around the shop's cozy interior for the newcomer. A man stood at the counter, his back to her. All she could see was the charcoal plaid coat he wore and his very red hair. Leah gave an involuntary giggle as she realized that his hair coordinated with Mii, the cafe's mascot's bow. They had tied a bell strung on a bow around her neck and she was currently begging to be scratched under the particularly annoying new accessory by the mystery man. He inclined his head to the kitten and obliged. The purring could be heard all the way from the counter to Leah's table.
Sam emerged from the back of the shop, his normally perfect hair plastered to his head and his forest green apron covered in flour. The two men talked briefly before disappearing to the back of the shop. When they emerged, mystery man was dressed exactly like Sam. A new waiter then, Leah mused. Perhaps the next few afternoons wouldn't be that lonely after all.

MILK CHOCOLATE
Today a small pile of melted snow from a shop roof decided to kiss her in the face. Leah cursed her bad luck as she made her way into the cafe, hoping that nobody would notice the bedraggled mess she was in shoulders upwards. She was struggling to take her wet coat off when suddenly the weight lifted and quiet voice saying "Let me help you with that, miss." Thinking Sam was the one who had helped her, she turned around with a ready smile and an explanation as to why she was leaving a wet mess on the cafe coat rack when the words died on her lips. The red haired waiter smiled in a rather bemused way at her sudden goldfish impersonation. "I'll be serving you today, miss. Sam is elbow deep in flour and eggs." he continued as he led her to her usual table. "I am Aaron, by the way." All Leah could do was mumble something incoherent as he rattled off the specials for the day and randomly point at something on the menu before he was gone. To fulfil her order presumably. She took out her sketchbook, which had miraculously survived the melted snow attack and flipped to a blank page. Inspiration had come. In the form of a red haired waiter with the greenest eyes she had ever seen.
A few minutes into her sketch, a shadow fell over her page. Aaron stood quietly by her side, a tray with what looked to be a Swedish Black Forest cake on a gilt edged plate. Whipped cream covered the whole confection and the cake itself was cupped between large slices of milk chocolate and dusted with cocoa powder. A hot mug of cocoa with extra marshmallows daintily perched on top of the foam and cream nestled next to the plate of cake with a warm towel curled around it carefully.
Aaron said nothing as Leah hastily flipped her sketchbook shut and pushed it to a corner. His eyes were unfathomable. Leah felt a little nervous. What if he didn’t like her sketching him? It was rather obvious actually, what with the red hair she had given the sketch and the same lanky grace to the posture. After he handed the warm towel to her, Aaron gave a short bow and retreated to the counter.
Leah sighed as the curtains fell back in place after his retreating back. She rubbed the towel over her hair and neck, relaxing as the hot cloth chased away the cold and returned some sort of life to her bedraggled hair. A slip of yellow paper fell out of the folds of the towel into her lap. She stared at it, a little confused, before picking it up between thumb and forefinger like a strange specimen. It unfolded to reveal a tiny but detailed sketch of her, complete with Mii curling around her legs. A scene from the day before. A warm fuzzy feeling that broke into a wide smile bloomed as bright as the rare winter sunlight that suddenly lit the whole cafĂ©. She had a feeling Aaron wouldn’t mind her sketch.

BITTERSWEET CHOCOLATE
Her customary mug of cocoa came with a yellow slip of paper attached to the handle with baker’s twine. Leah unfolded the paper as she tucked into the Death by Chocolate cake that sat in a river of chocolate and raspberry sauce on her blue and white china dessert plate. It showed her staring out the window into the street with a wistful expression on her face, her half-eaten cake on the table. Yesterday’s scene. She smiled and tucked it away in the pocket on the front cover of her custom made sketchbook. A scribble on the back of the paper made her stop in her attempt to push the paper in without creasing it. On the back of the sketch in elegant cursive, Aaron had signed his name and also left a message. Would you be here tomorrow as well? Tomorrow? Leah pursed her lips as she thought. Why was tomorrow so special? She checked her watch and made slightly amused sound. Christmas Eve. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve. She would come. Tearing out a fresh sheet from her sketchbook, she peered through the gold gauze curtain and watched as the same long-fingered artist’s hands that had sketched her held the dainty plates of macaroons and eclairs. She left her message under the rim of her plate.

WHITE CHOCOLATE
Leah wasn’t disappointed. In fact, she was pretty taken aback. Dozens of sketches of her in different poses and moods were clipped with small wooden pegs onto baker’s twine that had been stretched over the window frame next to her usual table, forming an inspiration board of sorts. Her mug of cocoa already awaited her, and a peculiar looking cake with striped chocolate pieces and white chocolate buttons arranged on the top. Drizzles of chocolate had partially covered the writing on a small plastic card placed alongside the cake but she made it out to be Seven Sins Chocolate cake. A pot of poinsettias was sitting in the middle of the table with a note stuck in between the velvety red blooms. Be back in a few minutes. Please enjoy. Leah sat down feeling a little in awe of the sketches. The cake was all but forgotten as she stared at them. All drawn over the span of three days. Aaron was quite the artist. A polite cough alerted her to his presence. She hadn’t even noticed him till then. His red hair had been tamed somewhat and up close it was less of a bright fiery red. It was darker, reddish brown actually, and his eyes were more emerald than forest green. His cheeks were red though and Leah pretended not to notice as he fumbled into his seat. A shy guy was rare in her opinion and she thought it was rather cute. “You did all these?” she asked while sipping her cocoa with hands that she hoped were not shaking. “Yeah, do you like them? Sorry I didn’t ask you beforehand, but I saw you drawing what looked like me and I thought perhaps you wouldn’t mind if I let you know that you made the most beautiful model an artist could hope for.”
“Ah, I didn’t. Mind that is.” Leah blurted out. He smiled and fingered the cuff of his white shirt. He had taken off the green apron. “I was wondering,” he paused, shook his head and continued in a stronger voice “I was hoping you’d be free tomorrow. I know it’s a little soon, but could we have dinner? Together, anywhere you choose.”
Leah could hardly believe her ears. Was he asking her out? On Christmas Day? To hell with her plans, she wasn’t going to let them stop her. “Yes. Definitely. Yup” she squeaked.

Picture from Google Images

Quick evening update

Sorry for the lack of posts today. I been everywhere but home since this morning and haven't had time to type any new poems or excerpts.
Probably will spend most of the day sewing up a new plush animal kit, so any new stuff will be posted later or tonight. Hopefully by then I'll cook up a new excerpt.
And to everyone who takes the time to read my posts and go through my little blog, thank you. Arigato.

Quick night update

I finally got the price for the cat D.I.Y pack I wanted but sadly le Mum says it doesn't look like a cat! =T.T= But I still want to get that kitty so I can make my own furry cat (to compensate for my lack of a real pet cat).

As usual, after a day or two of crafting, my desk is a mess again. So I suppose tomorrow will be clean-up day and then only will I get to go to the mall to pick up my monthly Cleo and a new cream coloured scarf. Maybe a few studded items or two. Who knows? The excitement of acquiring new loot. Why yes, I'm guilty of having that shopaholic tendency...hehe.

Already made a present for a friend who will be celebrating her birthday soon (no, I'm not telling you, I want to kill you with the suspense...muahahahaha!) and am now planning to continue my hobby of making button badges *maniacal grin* I loooovveeee button badges. The soft fabric covered ones anyway.

Was thinking of ordering a galaxy patterned tank top from a homegrown label on Facebook but sadly they haven't gotten back to me yet and it's been DAYS already. Hmmph. Really should have better customer service. I need to know before December.

The two slices of cake in my fridge are calling me. I must go. Get some inspiration.

P.S. My blog stats are so adorable! They look like cat ears! See?

Thursday, 29 November 2012

Just so you know

I wonder if your lies,
Warm her heart as it did mine,
Such a long time ago,
When I didn't know,
And what you tell them about me,
The so-called perfect one,
That you would never leave,
Last breath to tell me you love me,
And that you did it,
Finally managed to beat the odds,
Fairy tale completed,
But no,
It's great that I found out,
Even if it took a long time,
And I was slow,
I don't know what lies you tell them about me,
I really don't need to know,
But it's ok,
Because even if you didn't believe much in God,
He knows.

~Rei Shiori

The last laugh

The gunshot echoed in the frigid air. Warmth, scarlet warmth splattered across her face. That was when Eric fell. It felt like they were trapped underwater. Everything happened as if in slow motion even though she knew it had taken less than a fraction of a second. She couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t scream. She heard his body fall to the ground, eyes still open, still alive. Good. She heard him laugh and thought to herself, that it was odd, he’d just been shot at. He was injured. Why was he laughing? Why? Another gunshot. Hers. She felt the vibration, the momentum of the bullet leaving her gun. The gunman dropped. She had always been an accurate shot. Hell, she had been a sniper. But wait, something was wrong. Eric, was wrong. His eyes that had been open a while ago were now closed and he had a smile on his face. But he wasn’t even looking at her. Eric? ERIC?! She screamed his name till her voice was raw, pressing the handkerchief she pulled from her pocket against the wound. He wasn’t responding. The paramedics came. They’d been alerted minutes ago when they had first arrived on the scene. Eric had been so confident then that they would finally catch the gunman that had been killing people randomly in subway stations.He had been right, but at what cost? She stared at the gun in her hands as they wheeled his body away to the morgue. She knew what they would say. Gunshot wound to the chest. Punctured lung, blood loss. Her face was sticky with blood. Eric's blood, smeared all over the handkerchief and her face. She felt like she would never be alright again. She had lost her partner, her friend, and her love. The gun felt right as she lifted it and placed it at her temple. Her finger was on the trigger. One bullet and everything would be over. She had enough to make that one last shot. But something about Eric's dying smile, his laughter, stopped her. That smile had been goodbye and that laugh that she had loved so much, it was a sign that he had been ready to go and to tell her not to give up. He never wanted to hold her back. He wanted her to take that shot. Just like he wanted her to continue living. The gun skittered across the ground as she rose from where she had been crouching next to Eric's body. She wouldn't disappoint him.

~Rei Shiori

The forgotten secret

The sea called to her. Every curling wave, every grain of sand. The urge was like a constant itch in her bones. Even the lace dress she wore felt like a hindrance. She wanted to run free into the warm water and wash away every care that had been laid on her shoulders like a a brick wall that had built up over time. "Tamina?" the voice cut through her thoughts. She turned round dreamily to be met with the bluest eyes she had ever seen. It took her a moment to focus on the face. A slow smile spread across her face when she recognized Drake, her best friend ever since she learned that boys made better buddies than girls did. They certainly didn't gossip as much. "Hey." she responded as she scooted over on the bench to make room for him. Drake was as tanned as she was fair. In fact, she was always pale no matter how much sun she tried to get. And then there was the matter of her platinum blond hair that sparked the envy of so many girls that they started calling her 'Ghost'. Tamina shook off the negativity and her fingers automatically sought out the turquoise pendant she wore around her neck on a gold chain. Calmness washed through her like a river and she smiled at the sight of a couple of seagulls that were fighting over a fish. The sound of the waves soothed her. And so did Drake's hand on her forearm as he tugged her off the bench and towards the sea. The sea, something about it reminded her of a secret she was supposed to keep. She couldn't go into the sea. A frown creased her forehead as she tried to remember why. But Drake was insistent and she loved the sea anyway, so she went ahead with it. It couldn't be all that important if she couldn't remember it, she consoled herself. The water was warm as she had thought, licking her toes that scrunched through the coarse sand. Drake let go of her as soon as they hit the edge of the water and dived into the oncoming wave with a wild whoop of joy. Tamina enjoyed the feeling of the small waves lapping at her feet as if in welcome. The itch intensified and she stepped deeper into the water, not caring that her dress was getting soaked. The water was a glorious delight against her skin, and she all but leapt under it. But the itch wouldn't go away. She lowered herself into the water and went beneath the surface. The itch disappeared. She tried to stand up again but something was wrong. She couldn't stand. She tried again but she kept floating around in water. She twisted her head backwards and gasped. Then realized with growing terror that she hadn't inhaled water. She was breathing underwater and worse of all, her legs were gone. In their place was a gently swaying tail that was longer than her legs should've been and they were wrapped in light gold and silver scales that shone like pearls. How would Drake respond to this? She couldn't go back to the surface. Suddenly the words of her grandmother rang in her ears. Never go into the sea, they will catch you. And they will kill you like they did to your mother.

~Rei Shiori

So sorry!

New excerpt may have to wait =@.@= I'm so sorry, but there's a thunderstorm outside and I just can't risk my laptop in this weather. Check back a little later for a new excerpt! Gomenasai!

I'm a.....

Nope, no way in hell was I going in there. I screamed as the hands picked me up and lowered me into the bathtub as if I was in a slow motion movie. Fat hope that it'd stop my descent. It didn't do any good. The water was warm but I didn't care. I WAS WET! GET ME OUT! I screamed, I shouted, I yelled, all to no avail. No luck this time. The hands continued scrubbing me all the way down my back and my chest and then lower....HEY! Not there, you fool! I bit into the hand holding me still and received a mouthful of rubber. Gross. I glared up at the person holding me down in the water and grumbled to myself. Quietly. Or else dinner would be a pile of crap again.
Finally the torture was over. The hands lifted me up and set me on my feet on the cold tiled floor. I promptly sat down and gave the most disapproving stare I could muster. A warm towel wrapped around me and I was carried out of the torture chamber.
I smelt meat. Roast chicken to be exact  it thought to myself as the hands set me down on the sofa to dry. But the table was oh so far away, and I was so tired after being tortured. I gave the owner of the hands the most adorable pleading look and was rewarded when heaven came in the form of a few slices of chicken in her hand. I purred...wait, what? Did you think I was human? Bwahahahaha! What a joke, no no no no, silly human. Nah, not a human at all...humans are my slaves. My misbehaving, occasionally insane and bigger-than-me slaves.
What am I? I'm a cat.


~Rei Shiori

Do you?

Do your dreams lead you back to me?
Unconscious mind from inhibitions freeing,
Do you wake as I do?
Quietly weeping,
Pretending,
That I don't remember you,
And that what we had,
Was never true.

~Rei Shiori

Quick afternoon update

Today is the ultimate lazy day. I woke up at 12. In the afternoon. I did however bring in the laundry so I guess that makes up for it.
Trying to draw up ideas for some props while surfing the net for ideas and thinking of what to write today. Thinking of redrawing a sort of synopsis of the video tutorial for the beanie hat but we'll see, if the heat doesn't get to me and make me too drowsy first. I am feeling a little lazy since I've been posting 3-4 poems/excerpts daily. I really have no idea what to write next.
I can't believe it's almost December. Where has the time gone?! Come back! I don't want my holiday to end!
Adorable picture from Chibird that I found on Google Images
P.S. Speak of the bird, there's one of them who's repeatedly banging on my room window while I'm typing this. God must be playing Angry Birds. I am a pig. Oink.

Ghost

She drifted away on the breeze, translucent skirts streaming behind her. Just ahead, a couple got down from the taxi and paid their fare. The woman's greying hair was loosely tied back in a braid and the man held her arm gingerly, as if afraid that she might fall and shatter like glass. The man still looked young, probably in his early thirties with dark brown hair and an air of permanent sorrow about him even when carrying the most beautiful bouquet of billy buttons and daisies with the odd lily or two sticking out. She went a little closer to this odd couple. Perhaps a little too close. The woman turned and looked at her straight in the face and she froze. But she looked away a second later as the young man gently led her away from the taxi. The couple hurried away through the gates of the cemetery that lay open on rusty hinges and she followed them inside. The woman seemed to know the way by heart, treading carefully among the gravestones and angel statues with surprising ease. The man lagged behind, as if reluctant to venture any further from where he was standing. They reached a gravestone at last, a relatively new one compared to the others since the moss hadn't grown very much on the headstone yet. The man finally let go of the old lady's arm and crouched down low, one hand brushing away clinging ivy and moss from the headstone. His touch was so very gentle that it made her sad for some reason. Drops of water fell on the headstone as he worked and she looked skyward, expecting rain. The sky was clear, only a few dark clouds gathered in a distance, too far for any rain. She stood closer to him and realized he was crying. Silent tears that dripped into the bouquet as he worked. She reached a white hand towards his cheek just as a tear fell and passed right through her hand. The memories flashed through her with blinding speed. Her name was Ingrid. That man she had been standing next to in the cemetery was her fiance, Caleb. That old lady was her mother. That grave they were standing at, was hers. She looked down, almost disbelievingly, at the name engraved on the headstone. The car that slammed into her. The feeling of falling off the bridge. The regret. The pain. The words that wouldn't come. She couldn't stop it all. She screamed. The sky seemed to echo with her pain, the trees swaying violently in a wind she could not feel. Even Caleb and her mother looked around, spooked by the sudden movement of everything around them. She could not cry. Couldn't even say goodbye as the pair walked away hurriedly, back into the living world that she would never be a part of again.

~Rei Shiori

Coffee or me?

MOCHA
Someone just walked in. A woman, no, a girl really, dressed in a burgundy sweater and skintight jeans with her glossy waves of black hair swept over a shoulder. She looked around, her bright black eyes taking in the warm lighting and red and white gingham tablecloths, the smell of warm bread and stew and the sight of a dozen other pastries carefully arranged beneath the glass counter. Then she saw me. She smiled prettily before her lips moved, Can I have a table for one please? I smiled and nodded at her, waving her towards a cozy nook that was in a corner closest to the window facing the street, almost a cubicle really, the gossamer curtains falling around us in a shimmering wave as I parted them and pulled the chair out for her. The smile never left her face. She said, Thank you. I wish I could've told her how pretty she was, but coming from me, perhaps she would think it weird. Not many people are used to the way I communicate. I sent, Sam over to take her orders immediately and maybe it was just me, but her smile faded a little when I walked away. No matter, she would not remember me. I walked away quickly and continued with my duties. She had ordered a mocha with a piece of tiramisu cake. I finished her order as soon as possible and turned to the other drinks almost knocking over a cup in my not-all-there state of mind. I had to put the image of her out of my head. She would be served well, so I had no need to keep thinking about her. Sam was a gentleman and the perfect specimen at that. At least, he could hear. Unlike me....I was deaf and mute.

CAPPUCCINO
She came again today. This time the wind whooshed in the shop as she walked in. I know the bell above the door would've rung but I could hear nothing. Still, the sight of her took my breath away. Her hair had been done in half updo that left tendrils of the ebony strands curling around her face. Her dress was a midnight blue and she had a silver cardigan on today. As usual, she asked for a table for one. The single tables were all filled and I got a little frantic at the thought of having to tell her that. I almost kissed the ground when an old man tottered out of the nook she had sat in yesterday. Good, I had avoided talking to her again. I just couldn't afford to make myself look defective in her eyes. I hurried away to finish up the orders Sam had left on the counter for me. Somehow, I think I felt her eyes on me the entire afternoon, but I didn't dare to look. Today she ordered a cappucino and a slice of blueberry cheesecake. I wonder if she noticed the piece of white chocolate in the shape of a cat face that I slipped onto the cake as decoration. I noticed she loved Mii, our cafe's mascot, a tiny cream and gold kitten and thought she'd like it. Maybe.

FRAPPUCCINO
Mii led the way today as I walked Mai to her usual table. Mai. That was her name. She was a professional dancer from the academy just across the street and her parents were a Japanese couple that had migrated when she was a baby. Somehow they fell in love with Paris and have stayed here ever since. Or so Sam told me. Today she wore a dark green silk blouse over a leather skirt. She still smiled at me as I handed her the menu with a slight bow and proceeded to return to my station at the pastry counter. But today something stopped me. A very solid something. It turned out to be her hand. Sam winked at me as he passed by, ignoring my urgent calls for help via hand signals under the table. The only other waiter available was Andrew and he kept himself busy at my station. No help from there either. I cringed inwardly at the thought of having Mai know about my handicap. No guy likes to look weird in front of a pretty girl. Not even me, who was so used to having kids throw stones and shoes at me for being the only deaf boy in the neighbourhood and being rejected repeatedly when I wanted to play with them. Even the girls shunned me. Imperfect. I could see the syllables forming on their lips even as I walked past them. I couldn't hear the whispers but I felt them like a knife. Mai tugged at my hand and gestured at the seat that had somehow been shoved into the small nook. Now we were both a little cramped together, with the table wedged between us. She let go of my hand and shook her head at me as I attempted to rise from my seat, almost dislodging Mii from the edge of the table. Stay, she said. I sat. Mai rummaged around in her bag and produced....a small notebook and a pencil. Noticing my puzzled look, she grabbed both items and bent over the notebook. My name is Mai. You never told me yours. The notebook slid over to me, her message neatly written on the top left corner. I hesitated a second before thinking to myself, to hell with embarrassment and wrote right under her neat lines. Lucian. Nice to meet you, Mai. She smiled as I passed back the notebook. Why won't you talk to me, Lucian? I fidgeted a little before writing, I'm deaf and mute. Even the words seemed to shrink among the others above it on the paper. So? she wrote back with a slightly challenging look in her eyes. So, I didn't think someone as amazing and pretty as you would want to communicate with me. I can't talk, not the way you do anyway I scribbled back furiously. Mirth sparkled in her black eyes as she carefully wrote down, Yes, I know that. But so am I. I was in an accident and my ear drums were damaged when I was twelve. I had already learn to speak and with a bit of therapy, I could still talk even if I couldn't hear. I swear the world stopped spinning and hell froze over that instant.

VANILLA CREAM
Mai waited by the door as I served another plate of apple pie to an old lady and her grandson. Her face was flushed from running across the street and from the winter air. She looked as stunning as ever in the same burgundy sweater I first saw her in when she walked in that spring afternoon. In her hands, she held a placard that said "Hello, love."






Wednesday, 28 November 2012

Cruel

They stare at me,
Mocking,
Laughing,
Taunting,
I can hear you,
I'm right here,
Can't you see?
I'm just like you,
Just a little more awkward,
A little less perfect,
But only physically,
In here,
See?
My heart beats the same way,
My mind works great,
My feelings when you talk about me,
Make me sad,
Why do you think any less,
Of what I'm capable of,
I'm still a human,
With feelings,
But you,
Are just cruel.

~Rei Shiori

The wind

The errant wind that blows,
Your hair,
And kisses your face till it softly glows,
I envy it,
For all that it can do,
Be close,
And yet,
Not seen to be taking advantage of you.

~Rei Shiori

Beanie hat tutorial (not by me!)

Yesterday I used this link to make my cat-eared beanie. Of course it says Pikachu, but with a little bit of creativity you can tweak it into any creature you want (panda and bunny ears are my next targets).  I don't own the video and receive nothing from blogging about it, other than the satisfaction of staring at my own handmade beanie hat with the most adorable stand up cat ears.

How to Make a Cosplay Pikachu Beanie Hat

That's the link up there in case you want to make your own beanie for winter. In my case, I made it because I'm an anime addict and proud to be a cat-lover (don't worry, doggy-boy I still love you).

Good night my wandering mind

Time to head off to bed and dream. Hopefully I won't wake up tired. Here's a short poem just to say good night. Something I dreamt up years ago.
If only you were here now,
I could watch you sleep,
Breathing softly a kiss,
Now all that's left,
An empty hollow,
Warm where you slept,
Cold now,
I curl up in here,
Feeling even smaller,
Where are you now?
I search for you,
In my restless dreams,
From these sheets,
The scent of you,
Still lingers here,
Where are you now?
I search for you,
In my wandering memories,
Where are you now?

~Rei Shiori

All I have to offer

You want me to walk on water,
But I'm trying to make you see,
I'm only a human,
And there's only one of me,
I don't have super powers,
I can't give you the moon,
But I can give you my love,
And that's I have to offer you.

~Rei Shiori

The wait is over....

I made what has been the one and only item I have been crazy for ever since I first started watching anime : a cat-eared beanie. I'm so happy even if it's only a prototype.
Me wearing the beanie, you can't see my face though, all eyes on the beanie
See? It's a little stiff like Selene-chan said but that's because it's felt, not the soft fleece it's supposed to be made out of (which I currently don't have) but it's only a prototype, so there will be more cat-eared beanies to come.
So at last, the wait is over. No more considering buying that overpriced beanie on Etsy or from anime shops. I have my own beanie and I have the skills to make one anytime I want! Yay!

Tuesday, 27 November 2012

Picture Inspiration & Motivation













Pictures taken from here and there. Mostly from Words Over Pixels and Google Images

Help?

He sees,
Averts his eyes,
Pretends to look,
Unfazed,
Avoids her pleading gaze,
None of his business,
He will not raise,
Problems where there are none,
Walks by swiftly,
Quickly,
He almost escapes,
Until he hears her voice,
Forced to say,
"Sir, will you be my lover today?"
Only a few dollars the pimp proclaims,
Leering at the girl,
Shivering in almost nothing,
For a moment,
Her eyes meet his face,
And he hesitates,
A heartbeat,
Walks away,
Dials a number,
When he is well out of the way,
Tomorrow's news will tell,
If she is saved.

~Rei Shiori

Trapped

Her eyes are large,
From behind bars and shuttered windows,
Hung with gaudy curtains,
And streaked glass,
That have seen better days,
She watches the perfect world,
Just beyond her tiny hands,
The neon lights,
That glare a garish red,
Painting her face,
Where no makeup should yet be introduced,
And when they come for her,
She clings to the one truth,
She was once loved,
Now she is abused,
Stares at the ceiling,
While the bed moves.

~Rei Shiori

Oops...did I offend anyone?

I wonder if anyone got offended by my most recent poems. Hehe....excuse me for writing that but if the inspiration comes, I have to write it out.
It's nothing crude or obscene anyway, so you may be a tad sensitive if you find that awful. Prostitution, human trafficking, girls (and sometimes boys) being used as a sex object, it's common enough in our world but nobody wants to see it because it's not pretty. It's taboo to mention such thing even. People tell of their experience when going to brothels and when paying for sex, but who tells the story of the one being used? Nobody sells their body just for the heck of it (if anyone does, well, I personally find it a odd).
People whisper of the girl who gave herself away because of a boy, but do they know if she has been abused and maybe that has twisted her mindset? Maybe it's psychological, she seeks love elsewhere when there is none at home. Wrong move. Wrong choice. She get scarred forever. Who tells her story? If she told it herself, would they say she asked for it, she deserved what she got? Society gets very judgmental sometimes.
Would you look on the other side of goodness and see the evil? Can you look past the black and white, stop thinking that life is all fun and happy times with your friends, look, really look into the grey area where there are people your age who are living hell. Don't look at sex workers with that high and mighty glare, who knows how they ended up where they are? You could've been them. You could've been that girl forced to dress up in skanky outfits, made up face and made to stand in the street for those hungry perverted eyes to mentally undress till someone actually comes and pays for you. You could've been the one forced to sleep with strangers for money you never get to lay your hands on. Don't just pray and think mankind is good. It isn't always that way. Mankind can be one of the worst creatures on earth.
There's always many sides to a story. It just depends on who sees it and how you interpret it. But whatever it is, I sure don't support any of this twisted, warped business of selling humans for pleasure. No one should.

P.S. How did I get here from writing poetry? I don't quite know, mind must've been in rambling mode.

The used

He comes,
Strips her of her dignity,
He leaves,
With more than her virginity,
Used,
Like a doll,
Easily loved,
And then broken,
He takes her self worth,
As a prized token,
Of his enjoyment,
And throws aside,
The beautiful husk,
That is her.

~Rei Shiori

The paid lover

On the duvet,
She sits,
Methodically painting,
Her nails scarlet,
A bloody red,
Tonight she waits,
For the stranger,
Who will share her bed,
And for a brief moment,
They will be so very intimate,
And then forget,
Conceal every lingering thought,
As he returns to his life,
Complete with wife,
Home,
Bed,
And she is left alone,
Staring at chipped nails,
Empty spaces,
And the money he left,
On the table beside her head.

~Rei Shiori