Just let go

Are you waiting for me to catch you?
You know I'd be here when you take the fall,
Arms wide open,
Heart ready for the beating,
From the trashing around you make,
When you scream in your nightmares,
But don't really make a sound at all,
I'll be here,
Whispering softly,
Trying to drive away your fears,
It's ok,
Just,
Let,
Go.

~Rei Shiori

Stripped of wonder

Outside it's shining,
But in here it's cold,
My expression,
It's smiling,
But my soul,
It feels old,
I cannot give up,
I cannot let go,
Which ever path I take,
It seems to lead,
The wrong way home,
And I'll never know,
Where I belong,
But I never show,
Pretending to be strong,
So the lie goes on,
And the nights grow longer,
And we're all living,
Lives stripped of wonder.

~Rei Shiori

Love needs proof

Dry-eyed she looks on,
As her nails score,
More half moon crescents on her palms,
And she bites her lips,
Bloody,
Tries not to cry,
Fighting back the torrent,
Welling up inside,
Turns her face towards the wall,
Four corners meet,
Safe and secure,
Within them all,
She doesn't speak his name,
Doesn't say the truth,
That she wants him,
Beside her,
Not when love needs proof.

~Rei Shiori

Path of the storm

Cold winds whipping,
Surrounding me,
Stripping my sanity,
As a voice in my head,
Tells me to run,
Seek safety,
Warmth and shelter,
And better places to be,
Than in the path of a storm,
But it is here,
I feel most alive,
It's here,
I feel the tiny struggle to survive,
That revives,
From that almost dying spark,
In my eyes.

~Rei Shiori

One last poem

The weariness,
Creeping into my eyes,
Filling this mind,
That used to quicken,
At the thought of a word,
The vision of a picture,
Perhaps it is growing late,
I really should go,
But I cannot leave,
Before I finish writing,
One last poem.

~Rei Shiori

Imprint

Sweat on my skin,
Your lips,
Your sigh reverberates within,
My bones,
And the ache that follows,
It sinks deeper,
Like the moisture evaporating,
As I taste the salt,
Your face is all,
That leaves an imprint.

~Rei Shiori

The way she loves

The way she loves,
Is to cling on as tight,
Holding on with all her might,
As only she can,
To whoever she loves,
And whatever she loves,
She will fight,
Even if the wounds,
Bleed her dry,
And her cuts sting,
From the tears she cries,
She will continue to rise,
Standing for what she believes,
Is hers by right,
Never letting go,
She's a bulldog in a fight,
Beaten,
Broken,
Bruised,
Torn,
But she will love,
Even if it throws her,
Into the eye of the storm.

~Rei Shiori

Memories with him

Steady thumps,
Every one accounted for,
Her palm on his chest,
Yes, it's what she loved best,
To listen to the music that was his,
The song only he could play for her,
The tan skin beneath her hands,
The only man she wakes up for,
Just to snuggle under the cover,
Of his arms around her,
Tickling her face with his breath,
With morning kisses,
That bring back memories,
Like ice-cream together in summer,
Long walks beneath the warm rain,
Skin to skin,
She breathes it all in,
The memories remain.

~Rei Shiori

Here comes the sun....

"Here comes the sun." she says,
Lifting her pale hands up to the warm rays,
She closes her eyes,
And breathes,
As if for the first time,
In a very long while,
His arms around her waist,
Head against her shoulders,
Bare,
He sees the pain in her eyes,
Nothing he does,
Can get them out of there,
Even as he sweeps away the soft hair,
That falls into her eyes,
She leans against him,
As if for strength,
And he knows her words,
Are lies,
She cannot hide,
The scars he made before,
Not in the sunlight,
Not anywhere.

~Rei Shiori

Ghost of who I am

It's ticking out the time,
The whispers on your lips,
You promised they'd be mine,
I cup my hands to your waist,
Your hips,
Breathe in your scent,
At the nape of your neck,
And know with a certainty,
That it is time that we lack,
The urgency transmits,
To your hands,
My skin,
Your heart beating so wildly within,
I can feel the rise and fall,
Of your chest,
Beneath my fingertips,
The skin tautened,
Then slack,
In me you'll find your release,
In you I'll find the ghost of who I am.

~Rei Shiori

Flowers of sin

She tasted of sea water,
The scent of her skin,
Closer to the earth,
On her he smelled the flowers of sin,
Black as night her eyes,
In the onyx velvet of her hair he swims,
As she feathered soft kisses,
From the lushness of her petal lips,
On the curves of his neck,
Every breath he takes,
He's breathing her in,
The sleek vines entwine,
Pale and weak,
Yet he bends,
To the whims of the face,
That wants him,
She who is not afraid,
And does not pretend,
That she needs him,
Like a flower that needs the sun,
Even when she lays on the earthen bed.

~Rei Shiori

The prince has left

He sings to her,
To reach through the mists,
Of drugs and opiates,
That form a maze,
To trap her away from her own mind,
She reaches for him,
But the name on her lips,
Is not his,
Is not his,
Is not his,
The only thing he knows is,
"She will never be mine.",
The mists somehow part,
And she awakes with a start,
But it's too late,
The prince has left,
Rain on her face,
Warm drops while she was still in the maze,
Now she knows she broke his heart.

~Rei Shiori

The End

Can you not feel this pounding,
Deep beneath this cage of bones,
The sagging skin beneath obsidian eyes,
That once was brighter than your own,
The shallow breathing and paling skin,
She looks to you,
But senses nothing that remains,
Oh how she wishes the ivory would crumble,
The ashes mingling with her husk,
As the dying echoes,
Of a piano's notes,
Cry out to be heard,
In the clanging of wires,
That have gone to rust,
The church's bells with their solemn boom,
Resound in her ears,
To her it sounds,
Like they're calling her to her doom.

~Rei Shiori

The dancing pianist

Her dancing feet leaps back and forth,
The keys tinkling as she goes,
Repeating notes that in life,
With great decorum she played,
That now are played by her ghostly toes,
Merrily she spins around,
As on the day she died,
Her dress of lace,
And bone white shawl,
Like a flower blooming in the night,
She laughs and spins,
And dances some more,
But I notice that,
The notes are getting wild,
But the smile on her face is the same as always,
Her eyes I cannot see in the dark,
But it is enough to tell me this was my love,
She was definitely once my little skylark,
And when sings,
Her voice begins,
On a note so sad as to wring,
A sorrowful cry from the violin strings,
That have sat in dust and decay,
Ever since its mistress went away,
And I shiver in fear,
As her hands come so near,
They brush me with gossamer threads,
That chill my skin,
Even though it was me she once held dear,
And her voice - oh, her voice!
It runs through my soul,
Icy fingers gripping my heart,
Or what remains of the whole,
To hear the melody change,
I start to escape,
My hands clinging to the handles of the door,
When she steps down the keyboards,
Never touching the floor,
The melody becomes a cacophony of discord.

~Rei Shiori

Sleeping with the sea

She wakes up to a familiar weight,
His body halfway across hers,
His arms around her draped,
The dim sunlight,
That struggles through threadbare curtains,
Kisses his face,
In a soft glow,
Igniting eyelashes and hair,
To that mahogany tone she knows well,
The same face,
That she kisses every day,
Last night even more so,
As he reached for her,
Murmuring sighs and words,
Pressed against her lips,
That comforting "I love you so",
Gentle hands against her hips,
And she lets go,
He reminds her of the sea at home,
The same soft swaying,
The transient waves of pleasure,
She feels it down to her bones,
And she imagines his hands,
The wind that strokes through her hair,
Till she comes back down to earth,
But still,
The music of the sea is in his breath.

~Rei Shiori

She's crying

I can hear your cries,
Muffled as they are,
Through these glass walls,
That separate us,
Two bodies,
One bed,
But still this distance,
Fills me with more than dread,
I can't reach you,
And you can't hear me,
I try to touch you,
But you turn away,
Even in sleep,
I watch the tears,
Like pearls lit up by the moonlight,
Cascading down your face,
As you hold your pillow tight.

~Rei Shiori

This warmth

In the aftermath,
I look into your eyes,
And see the old soul within,
All the pain and bitterness,
That shaped you to be,
The man you are,
Just a little closer,
To melting the ice,
I pull you nearer,
My lips to yours,
Perhaps this warmth,
Will suffice.

~Rei Shiori

No loss

Take it all back,
The pretty words,
The fancy compliments,
The extravagant gestures,
I need nothing of that sort,
I am tired,
All of it,
I have seen it all,
All the dirty lies,
Cheap tricks and cliched moves,
It doesn't move me like it used to,
So don't you dare,
Don't give me that crap,
About never finding someone else,
Who'll love me more than you do,
Because I have,
And I'd do it all over again,
If I had to,
Until I get what I need,
Or better yet,
What I deserve,
You of all people,
Are no loss to me.

~Rei Shiori

Long gone

The silence drives me mad,
Mornings find me,
Sitting on the edge of the bed,
Rocking back and forth,
Back and forth,
Back and forth,
Back and forth,
Hands clamped over my head,
As the cracking silence,
Kills me slowly,
Eyes that see but don't believe,
Promises once were everything,
But now the words are dead,
Hollow things,
Like the husks of beings,
Whose souls have long fled,
Tears don't come,
I have nothing left to shed,
It's a scorching desert inside instead,
What will you find within,
These eyes that for love have sinned,
The empty hollows,
That go beyond flesh and blood and bone,
You can't touch me now,
I am made of stone,
Nights find me selling myself,
If only to feel the warmth,
For a little while,
And to hear the echoes of love,
In their fading tones,
Because even if you wrap your arms around me,
You'll find that I am not here,
I was long gone.

~Rei Shiori

I prefer the dark ones

She may be your angel,
Your paragon of light,
Every move pure innocence and sunshine,
While I,
With savage grace in your sight,
But I prefer the dark ones,
The forsaken,
The untamed,
For they understand what it feels like,
To have a heart broken,
To be shamed.

~Rei Shiori

He let's her go

He let's her go,
For a brief instance,
Their fingers touch,
Then sparks,
Fade to embers,
And finally a true darkness,
As she falls backwards,
Accepting her fate,
Sinking deeper,
Into the blackness,
It soothes her,
To be free,
Even as the water,
Fills the empty spaces,
That weren't meant to be,
And the memories,
Flash before her eyes,
In a final, desperate urge,
To make her see,
She does not cry,
Who would know?
In the deep ocean,
Salt water returns to wherever it goes,
From behind the watery cage,
That holds her still,
In its cold, comforting embrace,
She watches him,
Turn to go,
Leaving her flame to fade,
Leaving a love that remains dead.

~Rei Shiori

Spoiled

This constant ache,
Biting and gnawing,
Making holes of doubt,
Grow bigger,
While you're busy playing,
Your stupid childish games,
And I grow weary,
Of watching and waiting,
Until you want me again,
I am not some trained dog,
I don't come only when you need me,
I am tired,
And I need too,
Perhaps too much,
That you cannot fill the void,
Because as long as it remains a game to you,
I will still be the same as before,
Holding a heart,
That is scrawled with the scarlet letters,
"SPOILED".

~Rei Shiori

The Fox - Part VIII

He clamped his teeth down so hard his canines punctured the gums of his lower jaw. The pain brought him back. As did the sharp, metallic taste of blood that filled his mouth with its salty sweetness. Back to the eyes of a girl who barely knew him, not even knowing what he wanted the pendant for. Back to the reality of losing his mate, the only one he had ever known. Back to the loss, and the only option his pain-blinded mind could fashion for him.

An exchange, that was what he would offer them. He wanted to bring her back. Never mind if it was only for a century or two, he would not live long enough to see her live out her life again. Losing all his power would mean the loss of his life since he was not a real kitsune, not a living legend like her. Just a spirit bound to the fox's body, called to life by her power that remained in the pendant.

His curse that had him linked to the necklace with its pretty fox pendant had been a source of frustration ever since she died. The night she left him, he had laid on the grass, stained in her blood and too weak to move. By morning he could not move at all. It had been so cold, and he was trapped in the icy grip of her power. Turned into a pendant until the girl picked him up and wore him next to her skin. The warmth that tingled through his body as her skin made contact with metal gave him a life of sorts. He woke up in her backyard, treated as a foundling boy who wandered into their mansion by accident and taken into service by her wealthy family. For years he followed her, tailing her, working for her family, until they began to suspect the young man with the odd coloured hair who never grew a day older of being something other than their loyal servant. Then they came for him, with torches and swords and priests with bells. He ran.

Eventually the girl who had first picked up that pendant which contained part of his spirit passed away. The necklace was forgotten. Left to rot and fade in the dusty remains of that mansion with its jade statues and sakura trees that finally gave way to the passage of time. He had weakened in his human form, finally waking up again one day to find that he was once again trapped, in the silvered cage of the pendant, only able to see the changing world out of a single garnet eye. For years that cycle had repeated but the curse remained. He could not die a final death and be reunited with his mate, neither could he live because of the hold the pendant had over his physical body. Taken away from the warmth of its wearer, he would lose his physical form, be it fox or human. It got harder to explain to the people around him why he kept disappearing. It also got harder for him to explain why he needed the necklace.

Now all that remained was what was left in that pendant. He wondered if it even contained enough to bring back what he had lost. The rustling of her clothes as she moved distracted him from his thoughts. He watched her rise to her feet from the kneeling position she had been in since he had awoken to find her peering at him with that worried look on her face. Emi, he remembered her name now, busied herself getting water from the crystal pitcher that sat on a low wooden dresser by the window. Sounds of water trickling into a bowl reminded him that he needed to go. Today was her death anniversary. He had to return to that spot where the grass grew in scarlet clumps and the trees still smelled of her scent. He had to go. Had to. The urge to run was so strong he stood up immediately - and promptly fell with a surprised yelp of pain and shock as his leg gave way.

~Rei Shiori

Pet Peeves =.="

It's been a while since I actually posted anything about me. Not that anyone is reeeeaaaallly interested I suppose, but to hell with it since it's my blog anyway.

Been feeling irritated for close to a week (or more) and initially I thought it was the PMS talking. But then again nobody has PMS while having the M right? Ridiculous.

So it got me thinking about pet peeves. Apparently I have a ginormous list (of which I shall list only a sample of the things that annoy me most). Yes, I know, I sound like the world's most easily annoyed person. I swear it's not on purpose. I just have a short fuse. And some people are insensitive idiots despite knowing me so well (or so I thought). So here I go, just to unload some of my pet peeves since I can't very well tell the bf (who is busy or busy sleeping most of the time lately) or my poor besties who are probably under piles of work/books.

1. People who leave me hanging after texting me (why bother unless your main aim is to irritate the shit out of me by making me wait for your reply?)
2. People who promise you the world but can't even complete a basic obligation (how hard is it to spend time with me, it's not like I'm asking for a dozen diamond rings)
3. Being abandoned (yes, anxiety issues)
4. Noisy kids who run everywhere (parents, the leash was invented by a genius and apparently someone who is just as annoyed as the rest of us by your little precious who is so intent on tripping everyone up, do us all a favour and use it)
5. Atrocious spelling and horrible grammar (typos are excusable but nobody should be using rotten English all the way, have mercy on us Grammar Nazis)
6. People who don't look where they're going and bang into people (now I'm not being rude but if you're carrying that much of yourself around please estimate the distance required so your behind or protruding front doesn't send me flying)
7. Inconsiderate people who eat up every spare byte of the internet line (no explanation necessary I assume)
8. The duck face 
9. Girls who act too cutesy (really, you'd get diabetes just by looking at the way they act, in my state they call them the la-la girls)
10. People who treat others like their dolls (for goodness sake, I'm not a 5 year old, get your dirty paws off my face and stop pinching my cheeks)
11. Naggers (no one likes the repetition or the tone you're using)
12. People who think they're the most amazing/gorgeous thing created since God made the earth (take a good long look in the mirror buddy, nobody's perfect)
13. Guys who try to intimidate me with super bossy attitudes or greater-than-thou type of behaviour (trust me when you're a girl and younger than they are, it happens a lot)
14. Anyone who uses their age as a factor to gain respect (it's earned not automatically given, so back off)
15.  People who try to shove religion down my throat (I have mine, I think it's quite enough, thank you)
16. Jokers, clowns, people with jokes nobody understand. etc (you get the idea)
17. Any bag of mine being put on the floor by anyone else but me (yes, paranoid and OCD, not a good combo)
18. Interruptions when I'm typing or on the computer
19. Cleaning or wiping anything (in my defense, dust makes my hands itch and form a really disgusting condition where there are bubbles of clear liquid and I doubt you want to know the rest)
20. Kiasu people (kiasu = an attitude or behaviour where the individual constantly feels the need to beat everyone at everything at all times and may go to extreme lengths to ensure that they are the king of the hill)

I suppose 20 is about enough of me for one post. Who else shares and pet peeves? :D I'd love to know that I'm not alone in feeling annoyed by these things so drop me a comment.

These pet peeves,
Annoy me to no end,
Disrupt my thoughts,
Derail my daydream plans,
If only I could,
I'd make sure that,
For all these things,
And people,
And feelings,
Will be brought to an end.

~Rei Shiori

Why am I crying?

Maybe I expect too much,
Maybe it's gone,
And I can't love the way I did,
Or even trust,
The broken pieces still remain,
And although you try,
But it's too heavy to make any change,
You can't make the damage go away,
But maybe you're not even trying,
If love's supposed to be happy,
Then why am I crying?

~Rei Shiori

She's dying

She hears the whispering voices,
Turns her head,
And dreams again,
Reaching for the place,
She was before,
But the ceaseless noises,
Are driving her insane,
She cannot even hear him,
Calling her name,
Wide open eyes,
Unseeing in the dark,
She gasps for air,
But the weight continues,
To press on her heart,
She's aching and dying,
His grip on her tightens,
He is crying,
All she hears is the sighing,
Of rain running warm,
On the surface of her palms.

~Rei Shiori

The Fox - Part VII

Even though it had been centuries ago, the memory hit him with a force that rendered him blind to everything around him. The pain that lanced his side from the long gash made by their swords, her cries as they dangled her body above his, taunting him and his futile efforts to free her, her foot caught in the cruel steel teeth of the trap, the blood dripping into his face, coating his muzzle, the taste of her on his tongue. 

Iron, blood, pain, fear, anger, helplessness. His memories writhed around his head like a bloody haze that refused to dissipate. He had been discarded for the battle scars that ‘ruined’ his otherwise beautiful pelt. He lay in pain as the amateur hunters took her away and left him bleeding on the ground from sword-inflicted wounds from when he had tried to stop them from taking her away. 

For her fur, she had to die. Or maybe it was her unusual appearance that attracted attention. He regretted ever running out into the paths of humans in the quiet back roads that crisscrossed the countryside and occasionally through the forest. Both he and his consort knew the forest they inhabited had been gradually diminishing, thinking they had all the time in the world to find another place. When one had been living for thousands of years, things like time meant nothing of importance. However, this small ignorance on their part was the catalyst that resulted in her death. 

Did the foolish humans even stop to wonder what they had caught? A freak of nature perhaps? She with her nine tails and creamy pelt like no other fox had. 

They had come in the night, when they were drowsy and curled up with full stomachs. They must have tailed him as he trotted back to their den with that day’s catch caught between his jaws. They came with fire and swords drawn, sharp metal things that almost bled him dry as they cut him to shreds for biting them and trying to remove the trap that held his mate. 

Those wounds had taken what seemed like forever to heal even with the amount of power his mate had left him with. He remembered her eyes, shining liquid black in the firelight, the tears of pain that ran down her muzzle, the tracks they made staining the fur around her eyes and down her muzzle red. As red as her now useless leg that hung in the teeth of the trap, spilling a crimson tide that washed the grass with her scent. 

~Rei Shiori

Well hello there ;)

A million apologies for being absent for so long!!!! Gomenasai, minna!!

As Selene said in previous posts, I went M.I.A. because my modem hated me. No, really. It just died on me while I was in the middle of enjoying the WiFi. To my horror, even changing the modem didn't seem to work. So yep, I was stuck without any internet for days T.T IT WAS AWFUL.

So I'm back now, and as most of you dear readers would have discovered, I was not lazing around on my fat couch-potato-ass while I was away. I have been writing and decided to pick up where I left off for the series The Fox. Part Four and Part Five are up if anyone's interested. A few poems as well. Tell me if you get bored reading them. Before I forget, there is a new post as well, not quite a series, not quite a story either, but just a little part of me. Something I hope I'm not alone in dreaming about. Enjoy Proposal , a short dream of mine that I finally found the time to write down. Or in this case, type out.

Back to more daily posts! Hope everyone is doing great and thriving. Or at the very least, alive and kicking I hope?

I missed you

I missed you,

My heart whispered,

But it was not enough,

The rain took you beyond,

The mist that obscured my path,

And I could not see you,

I could not feel you,

Your warmth,

Gone,

Aching,

Bleeding,

But you never came back for me,

And I cried in silence,

I cried for my sins,

Surely they took you away from me,

This was the hell,

I was to pay,

The blood price,

And I cried for you,

And for myself too,

For I had lost all that had been mine,

All that had been precious to me,

That was our time.

~Rei Shiori

Proposal

I smiled at the multi-coloured birds that twisted on their fragile threads as they spun in the air around me. So many origami cranes spinning in a kaleidoscope of colours, catching the light streaming in from the window on their paper thin wings. The door had opened to reveal paradise. I had once dreamed of a room filled with these, the words I loved dangling from the ends of the intricate folds of these paper birds. Poetry, written on scraps of lined paper and clipped to the underside of the last origami bird in the dangling trains that barely brushed the tiled floor. He had done more than I even dared to dream of. I smoothed the wings of a red one near me and smiled to see the little hearts drawn in felt tip pen on their tips. The blue ones had tiny clouds on them and the yellow ones small suns that had smiley faces. His attention to detail amazed me, but I had expected no less from an artist. I wandered through the hall, wondering how long it had taken him to fold all of them and to decorate each with his little symbols. Someone, probably him, had left the windows open and the birds swayed in the breeze with each light breath of wind that made the gauzy curtains flutter, their pink and cream undersides adding to the surreal scene before me.

Everything was as I had left it that morning before I rushed to work. However little touches had been added while I had been away. Dainty china vases lined the antique furniture that sat around the room, filled to the brim with peonies and succulents that ranged from the palest pinks and creams to a deep blood red shade that I loved. I almost laughed out loud as I discovered the notes tucked into each bouquet. The large, slightly childish writing scrawled across each palm sized card reminded me of every little thing that he loved about me. I ran about in a breathless excitement, collecting the precious cards that held his love. By the end of my impromptu treasure hunt, I held 11 cards in my hands. Just the hall alone held so many presents for me. Memories flooded my mind as I cupped the cards and read through each one, never knowing that my little quirks were noticed and even more surprising, loved. 

In a half dreamy state I started walking to the next room, the dining room that also housed my kitchen, when something bumped into my forehead. I looked up to see a heart shaped helium-filled balloon dangling in front of me, a parcel wrapped in brown paper and topped with a dark red bow anchoring it to the floor. Tucking the cards into the front pocket of my favourite canvas backpack, I bent down to untie the balloon and retrieve the parcel. It was heavy, almost the weight of a small bag of rice. I hefted it onto my hip as I made my way to the nearest chair that sat next to the dining table with its solid legs carved with animals and vines. After tying the balloon to the back of the chair, I lifted the parcel to the table before noticing the surface was smooth, newly polished till my reflection shone back at me as I lay the parcel down. Nothing in this section of the house had been drastically changed, I noted. The raised bar counter, initially supposed to be for liquor which we had later converted into a cooking area still remained as it was, undecorated and plain. A plate of white chocolate chip cookies wafted its amazing scent into the air as I sat down on a bar stool that remained from the earlier décor. So something had been added after all. I bit into a cookie as I deftly untied the bow and began to peel away the layers of paper. A yellow foil edge peeked out of it. Cat food? A frown scrunched up my forehead as I unveiled the unusual gift. It wasn’t like him to send gag gifts but there was a first for everything I thought to myself as I pulled out the bag and set it on the counter. The rustling of the bag was followed by a plaintive and very insistent meow from somewhere about my ankles. Dismissing it as my imagination, I hopped down from the bar stool and almost stepped onto the smallest ball of calico fluff I had ever seen in my life. Huge blue-green eyes stared at me demanding food. A silver collar attached with a note hung around the tri-colour fur ruff that circled its neck. All the note said was “Hello, mistress. My name is Louis. FEED ME!!” I complied and was rewarded with loud purrs for a creature that tiny. I had to admit, he knew me by heart. Every little dream and wish had been granted so far, and I was only two rooms into the house. 

Leaving Louis to chomp his way through the bowl of cat food to his heart’s content, I wandered into the first bedroom which was a guest room of sorts, not really expecting to discover anything in it. I could hardly stop the gasp that escaped my lips as I opened the door to find that every inch of the bed was covered with flower petals and the hoodie I had been eyeing for weeks nestled among the sheets and the pair of boots waiting for me at the foot of the bed with a note that said “Wear us out for dinner. We’re going for a moonlit walk!” Trust him to surprise me every step of the way. 

The bathroom had been cleaned and a bubble bath that smelled of vanilla awaited me but I couldn’t stop. There was only one room left. Excitement fizzed through my blood as I wondered what lay within. Our bedroom. I padded across the narrow hallway to the familiar scratched oak door I faced every morning of my life together with him and pushed at the doorknob. The cat bell we had hung together on the door knob tinkled merrily as I stepped inside. 

The smell of clean sheets and warm musky vanilla and cinnamon greeted me. He sat with his back to me, the strong shoulders and slim build I knew so well silhouetted against the sunlight streaming in from the open windows that faced the small garden in the backyard. Smiling to myself as I saw the nervous tremor that ran the length of his shoulder blades and down his back, I stepped forward and closed the door behind me. The same strings of origami birds dangled from the beams of our four poster bed, tangling themselves with the deep red curtains that had been pulled back with simple silver bows embroidered with our initials. I crept across the space and curled myself against his warmth. His brown eyes were smiling as I nuzzled against his neck and breathed in his scent. He took my hands in his, rubbing slow circles on the backs of them, the way I had done for him when we first met. His other hand held me tightly to him, almost pulling me onto his lap. We didn’t speak. My heart, full to bursting with happiness. His, unknown to me other than the show of love I had enjoyed today. Was it minutes? Or perhaps only seconds? He let go of my hand and I made a soft noise of protest in the back of my throat. I missed his warmth by my side. Grabbing for him, I noticed he had crouched down by my feet that were dangling off the edge of the bed. He went on one knee and I nearly passed out from the heart beat that throbbed so hard in my chest. A small red velvet box appeared in his hands as he turned his brown puppy dog eyes to me. “Will you marry me, love?” he whispered in his husky voice. 

~Rei Shiori

Together

We were but grains of sand,

Washed apart in the ocean,

Society could never understand,

What happened between us,

And they judged,

Everything they could not comprehend,

From the way we are,

To the way we decide to end,

To how we love,

To whom we decide to give ourselves,

To what we began,

To how we have sinned,

And we loved the way we loved,

Mismatched even as it were,

It was an uncommon happiness,

That we found in places,

We never expected to find release,

We love who we loved,

Judged by the world that watched,

And awaited,

The heralding of our end,

I could not give you my promise,

Neither could you understand,

The pain that would continue to bind me,

Even as I agreed to take your hand,

But for now,

This is where we stand,

Together.

~Rei Shiori

The Fox - Part VI

He had forgotten that it was about time for his change to take place. Midnight, as always. The transformation completed, as it always did, with the final parting tingle of power sparking on his skin, so much like static from the carpets he loved when he was in his human form because it reminded him of the power that was just beyond his reach in that fragile state. He gave himself a shake, the russet fur settling down his back as he regarded her with dark garnet eyes, so dark a red as to be almost black. 

She did not flinch. He squinted his eyes against the light and regarded her; she reached out a tentative hand and patted him. 

Patted him?! 

He suppressed an urge to snap at her hand, his smaller body trembling with the indignity of it. “Will you relax?” she laughed as she smoothed a hand down his back, making him shiver with pleasure despite himself. He huffed and settled on his haunches, never taking his eyes off her and the pendant. 

He hadn’t really taken much time to know her or even how she looked like. The details of her face escaped him. But her scent…ah, that was a different matter. She smelled nothing like his homeland. In fact, she smelled nothing like the fake scents of the girls that passed him by with toxic chemical smells in their hair and on their clothes. She did not carry the smell of the city streets, clogged and polluted with smoke and exhaust smog that clung to his head, dulling his thoughts. She smelled of earth. Of flowers that he had no name for yet even with his many years of knowledge. She smelled of purity, and something he could not quite place. 

A tap on his nose made him sneeze. He glared at her as best as he could only to see her regarding him with curiosity in her eyes. To suffer the indignity of such treatment from a human. His tail twitched in agitation at his wounded pride. But still, he would have to bear it for the sake of retrieving that pendant. It was a good thing his consort was not here to see it. 

His thoughts trailed off as he remembered her. All sunlight and earth, wildflowers and musk, warm fur and softness, yielding and sharp teeth in gentle nips. Then the smell of death in her final moments. A wave of coldness washed over him as he remembered everything about that night. 

~Rei Shiori

The Fox - Part IV

Perhaps if he had not tried to hide his intentions from her she would have just given it to him. Just like that, straight, easy and simple. He had always been one to underestimate the generosity of the human heart, but after the horror of his past, he thought he deserved the right to doubt its existence. 

He watched her as she turned the pendant this way and that, the garnet eyes of the fox sparkling in the harsh white lights of the small, neatly arranged room. She had very obviously just landed in Japan recently, judging from the luggage bags piled into a mini mountain in one corner of the room. Only one was opened and its contents rummaged through, clothes, from what he could see. His head throbbed slightly from where he had banged it on the edge of the low table that sat undamaged in the middle of the room and almost instinctively he twisted and tried to lick it, almost forgetting that he was still in human form. A soft growl of frustration rumbled in his throat as he rubbed his hand to the sore spot. 

Her inspection done, she placed it on the table. “Here.” She smiled at him. After he had just told her a story that would have sent most humans running for help or a psychiatric hospital, here she was, sitting ever so calmly and talking to him as if he was a normal human being.  He wondered what she was. 

A smile still played on the corners of her lips as he felt the pull of his shape, the twisting of the air around him began, he felt his form shucking away like a snake discarding its skin. A slight feeling of panic settled in the pit of his stomach even in the midst of the change. What if she started screaming? What if she raised hell here in the room? She was now larger than him and could just as easily kill him if she chose…and he wasn’t so sure that he had any power left to defend himself. He would never be able to get the pendant then. 

~Rei Shiori

Notice anything?

Dear readers,

It's S.Dawn here with a message from Rei-chan.

I don't know if any of you have notice but it's been about 24 hours since Rei has posted anything new. Some people might consider that as normal or mundane, however if you truly understood her you would know that it's unusual. So to get to the point, Rei is having some Internet problems and won't know when she'll be back. But you and I both know the second she's back on, we'll be reading about it. So let's hope she fixes her Internet soon and I can stop boring you guys with my crappy English.
(i'm not normally this snappy but this is not the best week for me and I'm sleep deprived. sorry )


Have a great weekend.

Let Me

Let me be the one to embrace you,
Let me be the one who protects you,
Let me be the one to banish your tears,
Let me be the one who cherishes you,
Let me be your knight,
Let me lay claim to your heart,
Let me be the only one for you,
The Only One for you,
Just as you are for me.

~S. Dawn~

Restless

Every breath measured,

Directly to each heartbeat,

That echoes through,

The fluttering chest,

Made of a thousand butterflies in flight,

And the raging torrent of rain,

Gushing through emotional pipes,

Do you wonder why she doesn’t break?

I do,

As I watch the mirror,

That reflects her restless face.

~Rei Shiori

Whose fault is it?

Escaping these conservative confines,
Beyond bars and brainwashing,
Since my birth,
I have been taught,
To sit this way,
Talk that way,
Prim and proper,
Yet,
I HATED IT ALL,
The confines of norms,
The expectations that formed,
The pressure of the bonds,
Ever tightening,
Choking,
Killing every inch,
Of courage and curiosity I had left,
And yet you ask me,
Why am I like this?
YOU MADE ME THIS WAY,
Telling me I'm useless,
Then asking why I cannot do it,
Telling me I'm fat,
Then saying I eat too little,
Telling me to grow up,
When you wouldn't let me go,
Telling me to be braver,
When I am yelled at for stating how I think,
And so,
Whose fault is it?
That I am this way.

~Rei Shiori

Different?

I thought you were different,
The way we always assume,
That something new,
Will never be like its predecessor,
But in the quietness of my thoughts,
I pieced together,
Bits and pieces of you,
The things you said,
The things you do,
And in a way,
Sometimes,
You remind me of times,
I wish I had not chosen,
Because if it is another coward,
I don't think I'd make it all the way through.

~Rei Shiori

Prelude

Sugary sweetness melting,
Your lips to mine,
Tell me now,
Do you feel a thing?
When we're pressed together,
Every little bit,
That passes by is heaven,
Better than ambrosia,
You whisper as I nip at your skin,
I can tell how you feel,
By the way your hands are roving.

~Rei Shiori

Who will?!

If I do not fight,
If I,
In cowardice,
Retreat from the light,
True, no blood shed,
True, I am alive,
But would you rather we die,
As slaves and mocked?
Rather than be the ones standing tall,
Someone will have to sacrifice,
Whether me or someone else's might,
It still will be someone's child,
Someone's love,
Someone's dreams,
Someone's hopes,
Someone's future,
Whether it be me,
Or the million others,
Whose parents would not want,
Dead,
Blamed,
Jailed,
Defamed,
We are all still,
Someone's daughter or son,
Someone's beloved and someone's only one,
Someone's something,
But we are all that someone,
Who will fight if not us?
Who will rise if not us?
Who will?
WHO WILL?
If we do not,
Would you see your grandchildren,
Beneath the upper class,
Fit only to breathe in their dust,
Constantly shunned,
The undercurrent in their voices,
Raised,
We know,
Despite our youth,
We understand,
And we pray,
But prayers without action,
Are as futile,
As crying for the sorry state we have become,
Did God not say we were his hands and feet?
Who else but us?
How can we make a difference,
If all we do is sit here so meek?

~Rei Shiori

When injustice is done

How can you understand,
The bloody tears of a nation,
Long oppressed,
Bound in invisible chains,
Trapped beneath the smiling facades,
We are duty-bound to fake,
How can you understand,
The lies of so many years,
Laid upon us,
Brick by brick,
An inescapable wall,
That held us in,
Unless we were the lucky few who had wings,
How can you understand,
When you were never one of us,
Never fought for love,
Of a country,
We were born and raised in,
Loved in,
Married in,
Lost in,
How can you understand our pain,
When we have buried it so long,
Because we were too afraid,
Too much of cowards to speak,
To stand up and be the one in flames,
Because to stand up was to be blamed,
To stand up was to be shamed,
Beyond all that I have done,
I wished I had the courage,
But I am but,
A,
Single,
Small,
Voice,
Stand with me,
And we will make a difference,
In the years to come,
We will shed our ignorance,
We will know of freedom,
And we will know of love,
For our country which,
We so often hold in contempt,
Thinking of her with such cynicism,
When in truth,
She is beautiful,
But not always so,
With the way she is worked,
How can you understand,
Our dashed hopes,
And broken dreams,
And parents worrying for a child,
Who will not leave be,
When she should,
Continuing to rebel against the norms,
Of staying put,
And keeping mum,
When injustice is done.

~Rei Shiori

Vengeance and Justice

The blood that cries out from the ground,
Refuses to be silenced,
Till all has heard the mournful sound,
And found the justice,
It still craves,
From beyond the unworthy grave,
You will hear the siren call,
It will not give up,
Till its killers fall.

~Rei Shiori

We'll breach the gates

Let go,
Let go,
No point in fueling rage,
It will come when it will come,
We'll see the giants falling,
This is the David and Goliath battle of our time,
This is our duty calling,
We'll see justice done,
No matter what may come,
Hell or high water,
It has beat us back before,
This time we'll breach the gates,
Of the stronghold fortress,
Of which they were so sure.

~Rei Shiori

You should have known

Do you hear their voices calling?
Calling out for blood this morning,
For years we have borne all in silent pain,
For years we have suffered,
Now is your time to pay,
A pound of flesh for every insult heaped,
If it were you,
Even your whole body would not be enough to reap,
What you have sown,
The trees of hatred and discord have grown,
Are you surprised?
Don't be,
For all this chaos,
It's the consequences,
Of what you have done to us,
You should have known,
YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.

~Rei Shiori

Our fight

Flashing in a sea of white,
Something within me,
Swells like a bubble,
At the sight,
I who thought was alone,
A rebel past fighting,
Bound by rules,
That never would let me,
Swim against the current on my own,
Watch you now,
Unknown yet friends,
We'll make it better together,
Because this is OUR fight.

~Rei Shiori

Don't want to go home

Irritation rising,

Silent fury inside,

Giving me an ache,

I can’t release,

Let me go back,

To what I had before,

Don’t want to go home,

Not yet,

Maybe never,

No,

Let me go,

Trapped in a prison,

Everything out of my control.

~Rei Shiori

Intertwined

Waking up clutching your shirt,

The scent of you still,

Lingering on my skin,

I look at you through sleepy eyes,

And smile for a while,

To see you asleep by my side,

Fingers curled around mine,

Splayed on the bed,

Intertwined.

~Rei Shiori