Sunday, 6 July 2014

Soooo....just a little warning a.k.a post-mortem of Relationship No. 4

A relationship is a very serious matter. As I grow older and hopefully am on my way to becoming more matured, I start to realize all the false starts I keep making when it comes to this issue. So I will try to change what I learned should be changed, and strengthen what should never have been broken down by the boys who I left and who left me in the first place. 

First of all, I’m like one of those cute puppies and kittens who will probably outgrow their cuteness with time but I will maintain my loyalty to you as long as I still respect and love you. One day, you will turn to me and realize that this girl is no longer that same sweet, constantly carefree creature you met. I will have bad days, and boy will they be like hell on earth for you. I’ll admit that much. My mood swings can rival a rollercoaster on some days and yes it is my fault. But just like those cute puppies and kittens, give me a chance and understand that we’re both going to go through a lot in life and with each other. Also please understand that there's always, always and underlying factor as to why I'm behaving the way I do (hint: I'm fine doesn't always really mean I'm fine, it's more like you're so going to pay for this somewhere down the line but I won't tell you just yet because I'm evil). I’ll change, you’ll change. Everything as we know it will be different hours, days and if we’re lucky (or not) years from now. But hey, that’s the risk in this isn’t it? 

When you date me, know this: I will never change my religion, or that of my future children for you or your family, selfish as it may sound. I will change my name, my work, my home even, but ask me to give that up and you’re picking a fight you cannot win. It’s either you lose that idea or you lose ‘us’. I will not ask you to give up yours either. Compromise, I’m a child born to parents with different religions and I can tell you I’ll tolerate almost any religion and even come to love it. But I will never NEVER change mine and my children will definitely be Catholics. So yeah, even as a warning to anyone who (fortunately or unfortunately) may try to date me in the future, please don’t even try to get me to change my mind, you’re just looking for hell. 

I’ve been through a lot as well, but I wouldn’t say it was anything major. Compared to the other problems in the world, mine probably rates as 3 out of 10 in terms of being life-changing. The worst is that I’ve been depressed; down so low I’d hurt myself to remind me I’m alive and degrading myself so much I starved myself to make me into what people call pretty. I will always have anxiety attacks, be paranoid for no reason and occasionally even cry at the slightest thing. But on the days I’m sunny, I’ll be that chirpy that you might eventually wish I’d shut up. And I will love with all my heart just because I’m passionate and that’s the way I am.

I’ll love every furry animal I can get my hands on, especially if it’s a cat or dog. Or just about anything fluffy. So if you hate animals or cats or dogs in particular, don’t tell me. Just back away slowly and no one gets hurt. I will not tolerate and comments on killing an animal even if it’s a joke. I’ve had someone who thought it was funny to say such things. Needless to say, I was and still am pissed at such a brainless twat and wondering how I could’ve withstood that for so long. 

Disagree with me if you must, heck, disagree with me if I’m wrong and even if I put up a fight because sometimes I’m too blind to see I’m wrong. But if I’m right and you argue with me just for the sake of your ego, if you put me or my friends down to make yourself seem better then disguise your words as ‘honesty’ I have a few choice words for you. Go to hell. I won’t take shit from guys like that anymore and that’s that. You have your pride, but I have my dignity. 

Oh and my friends? They’re on the same rank as you are and you best remember that because while I might run the risk of losing a boyfriend, my friends tend to stick around and support me even during those times my exes would’ve turned tail and run. Also they don’t judge me as several exes have constantly done over the years. Get along with them, it’ll be good for both of us but more so because we’re like this: we always support our own. Call it pack mentality if you will, but I call it friendship.

Last but not least, if you decide to insult me, take a mirror and wait your turn, buddy. I ain’t got time for that.

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