Saturday, 15 June 2013

Happy Fathers' Day, Daddy

You said I smiled at you,
When I first came to be,
Gazing up with sleepy eyes,
At the one I'd be calling,
For the next few years,
You'd catch me as I crawled,
Off the crib edge,
The bed edge,
And basically drove you and mummy,
Right up the wall,
I wouldn't sleep,
Like other kids,
And you had to carry me,
And sing my curiosity away,
So I wouldn't be grumpy,
All through the next day,
I grew and grew,
And remembered wrestling with you,
I wasn't very big,
But still I guess I wasn't all that small,
Or was it just that you let me win,
Because I'm your daughter,
And be rewarded with that buck-toothed grin?
The years grew shorter,
And I grew a bit taller,
Waving goodbye at the tadika doors,
You said "Would you be ok?"
I smiled and skipped away,
As the rest wailed in a cacophonic chorus,
The months sped by,
By then I was nine,
Acing every class I went through,
By twelve I was at my peak,
Driven to succeed,
I didn't quite care for all of it,
But did it because I knew you do,
Burnt out at last,
High school wasn't much of a blast,
Fell in love but it was a mockery,
Of love stories and movies I watched in the past,
Didn't dare to tell you,
But somehow you knew,
Why was that, Daddy?
Maybe because I'm too much like you?
Rising, falling,
I didn't understand my calling,
Darkness of depression threatened to burn,
My days were spent in teenage angst,
But eventually academics became a burden,
By the time you stepped in,
To self-harm and depression,
I was no longer an uninitiated virgin,
Body intact,
But my mind all but wrecked,
You took the time to listen,
Back on track,
I'll make my way back,
Don't worry, Daddy,
I'm doing what I love now,
And I promise,
Your little girl,
Is not aiming to be that tiny shining star,
I'm going to be the sun,
I'll make this world watch,
As I show them what I've become,
And everything that from you I learned.

Happy Fathers' Day, Daddy. I love you :)

~Rei Shiori

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