Life's been really hectic these few days. Catching up with old friends and sorting out some other things are driving me a little...blur. Not crazy yet, fortunately.
I haven't even had time to make my plush cat. Although I'm not very sure I'll be taking it along with me. As a matter of fact I have no idea of what I will be taking with me. Some things I just don't want to leave behind. Ugh. I'm such a pack rat and a hoarder. I'd take my whole house along with me on a trip if I could. But sadly it's not possible.
But for once I actually feel like I can really start all over again. I'm not exactly excited at the prospect of leaving behind everything I've known for the past 19 years, but it's a fresh start. And it's what I need. Right now I just want to put everything that has happened this year behind me.
Still, I'm not sure how I feel. Or how I should feel.
I'm afraid.
I'm nervous.
I'm melancholic.
I'm worried.
I'm tired.
I'm confused.
My memories are on repeat, constantly replaying in my head and killing me again and again. Scenarios of what might happen are giving me insomnia. It's a tangled up mess of emotions inside. I feel like my mask is slipping away, my security, my safety zone....just disappearing. Let's just hope it doesn't explode on the way off.
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